Living with teenage boys

I know it’s a total cliché to say time flies, but it really, really does when you have kids. It doesn’t seem that long ago that my boys, who are now 18 and 15, were toddlers.  I don’t feel that much older but having to literally look up to my boys now reminds me I’m inching very close to 50 -oh the horror!  For real though, where did all those years go??

Before I actually had kids, I wanted a boy and a girl.  You know, the perfect family of four.   I think we are all spoon fed that this is the ideal. But I realized very quickly that two boys make the perfect family also.

I have always LOVED being a boy mom.  Boys are boisterous and loud and so full of energy.  They are dirty and stinky, but there is nothing like a sloppy, sticky kiss from your little boy to melt your heart.   Just the thought of it warms my heart and brings tears to my eyes.

Make it stand out

Don’t get me wrong, my youngest son used to hold his breath until he passed out (such tenacity!) and was always covered in scrapes and bruises (very adventurous).  He has always gone at life full throttle and I love that.  My older son is more reserved, but he had his moments too and does not hesitate to try new things that keep giving me gray hair.

 I hear my friends with girls complaining about the teen years and I am again happy to be the mother of boys.  Thankfully I am not an embarrassment to them in stores (I can even sing and they don’t care!), they still hug me and say I love you regularly, they usually answer my texts and actually like to spend time with me.

BUT there were some things I was FULLY unprepared for as a teenage boy mom…

1. Time in the bathroom.  It is a really LONG time!  Most people say girls spend a lot of time in the bathroom, which I’m sure is true.  But I promise teenage boys could easily rival them.  I really don’t want to think about what they are doing in the bathroom, and I mean I REALLY, REALLY don’t. When they were younger we actually argued about bathing and wearing deodorant, but now we are at multiple showers a day and way too much time with the door closed.

2. THE SMELL! The smell of their feet, clothes, gym bags, laundry, bedrooms, you name it…just a general hair curling odor.  When my son gets in the car after soccer practice and takes off his cleats it is truly gag-worthy.  The odor is so strong I swear I can see it wafting over from his seat.  I actually have to use laundry deodorizer to eliminate the odor.  Thank goodness for Lysol or else the smell would seep into the fabric and our lives forever…

3. That I’d be so excited to watch a track meet or basketball game or soccer game or a lacrosse game - you get the idea.  I have never been an organized sports person.  I don’t watch sports on TV unless I’m forced to and even then, it’s under protest.  But there is something about watching my son play a sport that he loves that is just so exciting (of course this applies to girls too!).  I find myself cheering and clapping along with everyone else.  Although, no matter how many times it has been patiently explained to me, even using condiments, I still don’t understand offsides…

4. The first time your son gets left out. This is gut-wrenching and brings back all the bad feels from high school all over again. There is something about watching your child hurt that makes it even worse. You want to see mama bear? This will most certainly bring it out faster than anything else. And it all is so much worse with social media. This is another reason I am thankful we did not even have cell phones when I was growing up, at least I didn’t know I was being left out until Monday morning. This one hurts ALOT.

5. Watching them fall in love for the first time.  This is a big one.  Little boys love their mothers something fierce.  When they fall in love it is so bittersweet.  It is a big step away from being that little boy who hand wrote me Valentine’s and brought me dandelions.  I always said I would judge myself as a mom by seeing how my sons treat their girlfriends.  I think I did pretty well and know that my son’s girlfriend would agree.

6. Sending the first one off to college – I knew this one was tough, but wow was it.  We raise our kids to be strong, smart and independent, but then they have to leave us to keep growing.  I would be lying if I said there were not lots of tears shed at drop off.  My son joked that I would be visiting all the time, but I am proud of myself and I gave him his space.  I do still text him every day though…that’s not bad right?

Being a mom to teenage boys has been a challenge but it is also so rewarding.  It’s been fun watching them grow like Labrador retriever puppies into their humongous feet – we tell my youngest he has Hobbit feet.  And they both think it’s hilarious that I’m now the smallest one in the house – they like to rest their elbows on my head.  There have been many challenges and laughs along the way, but I wouldn’t trade one moment with my boys.  I look forward to see what exciting things they do in the next few years, but I also know there will be a day, not too far off that I will wish for some stinky socks to wash…