The Pantyhose debate

I have always hated pantyhose. I don’t really even like saying the word.  I avoid anything where the root word is panty.  I remember wearing them as a kid for dance recitals and chorus performances. My mom would buy them in a little plastic egg and I would slowly and deliberately try to pull them up over my legs and not snag them on my toenails. I snagged every pair I ever owned.  Twenty years later when I became a lawyer, I learned that in some offices and courtrooms women are actually expected to wear pantyhose. I own several of these torture devices and I usually wear them in silent protest.

The whole idea of there being rules about a woman’s undergarments is so interesting to me because I think there is such a deeper meaning to what it says about our views of women’s bodies and attempts to control them.  Amy and I have had the pantyhose debate for years and I think there is somewhat of a generational divide on how professional women view them. The younger attorneys wear them infrequently from my observations. Outside of the courtroom I almost never see them on anyone under 30. Pantyhose in and of themselves don’t bother me, but the idea of someone (man or woman) telling me I must have pantyhose covering my legs, even in the middle of August, troubles me. I am not advocating wearing shorts and sandals in court. I am always in favor of wearing professional attire out of respect for the Court and the judicial process. But what does a bare leg have to do with it? It has baffled me for years. Almost as much as British lawyers wearing wigs in court in. Feels itchy. It would however significantly cut down on my time getting ready every day.

I briefly did some online research into the history of pantyhose and I found that they were actually invented by a man in 1959 for his pregnant wife. Being 9 months pregnant myself, I just have to chuckle at this. I can’t imagine anything less comfortable. But Allen E. Gant created “panti-legs” (eeeew) for his wife Ethel who was not surprisingly miserable in her thigh-highs and girdle while carrying a baby. He developed a prototype by sewing a pair of stockings to her underwear and the rest is fashion history. Nylons and thigh-highs were already popularized decades before, but this was different.  Pantyhose became a huge fashion trend in the 1960’s for women to wear under their mini-skirts. From everything I have read, it seems that pantyhose and tights were actually seen as liberating for many women, allowing them freedom from wearing a girdle. Freedom? That feels ironic. I’ve never felt less free in them and maybe that is because they aren’t something I choose, but rather something I have just dealt with miserably. Pantyhose soon appeared in various colors and styles and were a huge fashion accessory at the time. But now? I never see them outside of a courtroom. I also haven’t ever been to Hooters, but I am told they are part of the uniform, which again makes me giggle.  I think the reason is because women’s legs are supposed to look tan. Why? I don’t know. As an aside note, what about pantyhose for women of color? That’s another huge reason as to why these undergarments seem antiquated and oppressive. THERE IS NO SUCH COLOR AS “NATURAL” IN SKIN TONE. I cringe when I see colors like “nude” and “bare” because I know they are for white women only. If pantyhose are supposed to match your natural skin tone, then what is the actual point of them anyway? Just to add a little sheen? Seems like a waste of $10 or more per package.

I’ve talked about and debated pantyhose with many of my female attorney friends for years. The “rules” seem sort of unofficial and vary from jurisdiction to jurisdiction including whether or not you appear in a courtroom as part of your practice. Then it appears it further depends on what city or county, the type of hearing, the specific judge, the time of year etc. It’s all very unclear and rather arbitrary. Some women say they feel more pulled together and that pantyhose “suck you in.” I’ve had occasions where I’ve felt that way and I’ve liked wearing them. Control top can really smooth everything and I fully admit I own a pair of Spanx! But here is where it gets complicated, at least for me. Shouldn’t it be my choice whether to appear smooth or I guess whatever the opposite of smooth is. Lumpy? The reality is that women’s natural bodies are not smooth. In fact, no human is. We are soft and we have bumps and curves, etc. If I want to smooth it all out, let me choose that option. Let me as a grown woman decide on my own undergarments. I think that’s a fair request.

              I have heard people seem almost repulsed at the idea of seeing a bare leg in a courtroom and I wonder why that is. I’ve actually given it a lot of thought and I can’t figure it out. What is so triggering about a leg?   When a woman wears a skirt, skirt suit or a dress, about one half of her leg at the most is exposed to the world. How could a natural leg be so inappropriate? Is it distracting? Is it sexual? And is anyone even really looking? That is the question I often ask myself. Logistically speaking, when standing at the trial table, no one can even see my legs! (for anyone who has ever accidentally worn 2 different shoes to court, you know this and are thankful!) And no, I don’t think being bare-legged is the same as wearing shorts in court! I am not buying that slippery slope argument that if pantyhose are “allowed”  then somehow women will start strutting in wearing leggings and yoga pants and then before we know it, all hell breaks loose and people are in flip-flops and bathing suits. I just don’t buy that logic. I fully embrace looking professional and always wearing a suit or a dress with jacket in court (even in August, even when the AC breaks, etc) but I am also someone who likes being comfortable so I can do my job effectively.  If I am going to be wearing something for hours while standing mosty on my feet, why would I want to be miserable?  For the same reason 4-inch heels hurt and have actually injured my feet, pantyhose seem just as oppressive and totally unnecessary for a professional woman to do her job effectively.

That being said, plenty of women embrace them and they look amazing. I personally think I look ridiculous and I avoid them at all costs. I am not sure that there will ever be a consensus on anything related to women’s fashion, especially at work, but I do think it’s fair to draw the line, or at a minimum, question whether there should be rules on women’s undergarments.