Life-Long Friends Keep Your Heart Full

I spent the past weekend with friends, many who have known me since I was 17 years old, one even longer.  It was a rejuvenating, albeit exhausting, weekend filled with laughter and love.  I left with my bucket and my heart full and already looking forward to next year’s trip.

I consider myself tremendously lucky to have maintained these friendships over more than 30+ years.  For those of you who have life-long friendships you know this is not easy.  Especially when you live in different parts of the country.  It takes effort.  But I know we would all agree it is so worth it.

It has become easier with technology to send a simple text or to keep up with each other in our Facebook group, but in the past, it wasn’t so easy and required letters and phone calls.

We have watched each other grow up and mature.  We have been there when we have stumbled and helped when we were needed.  We were together when we were pregnant and have watched our children grow and flourish.  One of my favorite pictures is of 3 of us pregnant together with another friend holding her young child.  We have not spoken for periods of time, especially when our kids were little, but have taken up right where we left off.

Our group of seven has grown to include spouses, a few of us more than one (hand raised), through the years.  Each one of them has been a positive addition to our group.  They each have something unique to add and have easily been embraced.

For many years when our children were younger, they were involved in our adventures.  This made scheduling tricky.  We are talking about coordinating multiple families and upwards of 15 children’s schedules.  But we made it work as best we could so that our children could also grow up together, even if it was only once a year or every few years.  I have such fond memories of our trip to Hershey Park and of rafting down the Delaware River together.  Even the memories of a broiling hot cabin camping trip and sleeping with cold beer cans makes me smile.  I know my boys have amazing memories of these trips as well and I love this for them.

walking the boardwalk together

Now that our youngest children are finishing up high school, we have changed to a yearly adult trip.  We found a lovely beach town in New Jersey to visit and a great house that holds all of us.  We’ve been twice and each trip was special and left me laughing and thankful for these friendships.

I recently attended a lecture by Dr. Laurie Santos, a Yale professor who teaches about finding happiness in your life.  I was already familiar with her from her podcast “The Happiness Lab” which I listen to frequently.  Her #2 tip for finding happiness and well-being was to “Make time for more social connection”, basically make time in your life to maintain friendships.  There is scientific support for how social connections make us happier, and even healthier.  Even if you consider yourself an introverted person.

I know when I leave these weekends, I feel happy and rejuvenated.  I feel bolstered and like I have more to give to others in my life.  I am also already looking forward to next year!

Friendship is so important to our mental health.

It can be very hard during that crazy period of time when your kids are young to prioritize friendships.  Between the school events, sports, and family obligations it can seem almost impossible.   I even threw a divorce in during this time which made it extra crazy and stressful!  But it is so important to work to invest the time to keep the relationships healthy.  And to not give up when you’ve maybe disappeared for awhile.

Make time for that coffee break, go for a walk, or at the very least send that text to let them know you are thinking about them.  You won’t regret it.  The time you invest in your friendships will pay dividends in your future, especially when your kids are older and leaving home and you find yourself with more time.

There is a special feeling being with friends who have known you for most of your life.  They were there for many of the stories or at least know the rest.  They know you and accept you for who you really are, without pretense.  It is a special feeling to be completely at ease with a large group of people.  To be able to be silly and just belly laugh.  To be yourself.

And also, in what will become the immortal words of one of my friends following our latest weekend, “we can act like teenagers for 29 hours”. 

Now that is a happy feeling.