Lessons from the Family Deck Build of 2023
The family that builds a deck together stays together. Not sure if that’s a thing, but I’m running with it as my family just recently tackled a huge DYI deck project together.
How did we end up taking on such a big project? Obscenely large work quotes combined with a DYI enthusiasm.
Did I learn things from our officially titled Family Deck Build of 2023? Yes, I absolutely did.
Our house was built in 1978 and has a large wooden deck. We have lived in the house 18 years and the deck was already present. That’s an old deck.
It’s also a really big deck that covers much of the back of our house and fits lots of people for parties. We’ve had so many good times on our deck.
But like all components of a house things wear out.
About 6 years ago, I used a special paint/stain that was supposed to protect old wood. The process of stripping, sanding, and applying took at least 40 hours; no joke. It was exhausting and I hated it. It lasted for a number of years, but then the boards started to rot and the piece-meal process began. My husband would pry out and replace crappy old boards and I would slap more stain on them.
Deck at beginning of project
This worked until this year when we had the horrible combo of rotten boards and peeling paint. The deck looked embarrassing. It was time to do something.
Then came the ridiculously high deck quotes. I had quotes from 3 companies which I had recommended to me and was shocked at the prices. No. Way.
Next came what my husband likes to call an Amy idea.
We could do this ourselves.
Now before you think we are totally crazy; I have actually participated in the building of deck before and my husband is super handy. I also have two very fit boys at home for the summer looking to earn some money. To me all the stars have aligned and voila! the Family Deck Build of 2023 was moving forward.
Phase One – Deconstruction
This was particularly hard and fell mostly on the young men in our house. Each old board with multiple rusty screws had to be literally torn up. Have a mentioned this is a big deck? This took hours and hours and was exhausting, dirty, hard work.
It has also required multiple trips to the dump with a wood-filled minivan. The first trip was hysterical. Here I am in my 18-year-old minivan driving to the top of the trash pile at the huge county dump next to pick-up trucks and other much more appropriate vehicles. I was legit afraid we would get stuck in the trash and boy that would have been embarrassing. It was stressful, but I saw a bald eagle, so bonus.
Phase Two – Repair
This also took longer than expected (see the theme) and was also a tough, filthy job. The contractors I spoke with told me the base was fine and that they would just build on top of it. They couldn’t have been more incorrect (which I’m sure would have cost more money!). We ended up having to dig out rotting support beams, dig giant holes, lay concrete, and reinstall multiple posts and cross beams – oh my.
This phase was depressingly long and of course accompanied by intermittent rain for days, so all of our holes threatened to turn into mud pits. Everything we own was muddy. Thankfully we had the brilliant thought to bring up the canopy which made the working conditions slightly better and kept the mud out a little.
Phase Three- Reconstruction
We were so happy to get to this phase because it meant we could see actual progress. 3 hours of drilling in screws later and I thought my hand was going to fall off, but we had progress! And we finally had a useable deck. And it looks just beautiful, all the more so because we did it ourselves.
I promised you some (non-building) lessons that might be of interest – here they are:
First lesson learned:
Don’t let the size of the project scare you into not undertaking the project.
This goes with the idiom; how do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time.
It is so easy to allow ourselves to be overwhelmed to the point where we can’t move forward when a project or task seems so big, but if you break it down into smaller pieces it is much easier both to process and to handle.
I consciously broke the project into three parts -dismantle, repair, and rebuild.
This made it seem less overwhelming and set shorter goals that seemed easier to reach.
Second lesson learned:
We are all in this together.
I’ve been asked how much arguing we did during this process. I promise I am not lying when I say there was really none. We talked everything through multiple times, watched videos, and talked again until everyone was in agreement on how to proceed with each part. Despite the rain and heat, everyone mostly held their tempers. Now I can’t say there wasn’t cursing when a shin was hit with wood or a hammer slipped, that would be utter craziness.
Being in the process together I think made everyone feel heard and a part of the planning. We made mistakes, but tried our best to not assign blame because the decisions were made together. Seemed to work for us.
Third lesson learned:
Do things that challenge you and the reward of feeling proud of yourself is so worth it.
I asked my oldest son after a long day of work if he felt good. He said it was hard work, but he is proud of what he has learned and what he has built with his hands. You can’t fake this lesson. He now knows he can do something he had never even previously thought to try.
The idea here is to challenge yourself regularly. We are capable of so much more than we give ourselves credit for and the feeling of accomplishment is tremendous.
So, while the Family Deck Build of 2023 may be drawing to a close, I know the lessons learned by all of us through this process will stick.
I cannot wait to sit on my new deck, relax, look around at what we accomplished as a family, and have a drink.
