Holiday Traditions: A Cautionary Tale

Traditions are such a big part of what makes each family unique.  They are so fun to create when kids are little, but I admit when my kids were little I went a bit overboard with the traditions. 

Ok, maybe WAY overboard on the traditions.

I wanted them to really love the holidays. I felt like I was making up for a divorce and since I worked part time I had much more room on the calendar to fit everything in.  Not so much anymore.

I can proudly say that I resisted the “Elf on the Shelf” craze, so no staying up late to do crazy, creative things with a doll.  Have I been tempted?  Yes.  Was I strong and said no?  Also, yes.  I also do admit that I find them a little creepy so that factored in as well.

We have so many traditions that everything must be scheduled on the calendar and color coded so that we don’t miss anything:

Part of the tradition

*  Cutting down our own Christmas tree – We make a pilgrimage to the Christmas tree farm every year, rain or shine.  As a family we walk up and down the rows of trees searching for the perfect tree which has to be the correct size and shape.  When we find the tree each of the boys traditionally fights over who will cut it down, they each take two or three horribly crooked saw attempts, and then Tim climbs under the tree and gets it done!   

* Decorating the house – Holiday decorations seem to accumulate, despite my best efforts to purge.  We have bins and bins of decorations in the basement. Part of the fun of traditions is that nothing can change, so the candle or the gingerbread house goes in exactly the same spot it has been in for the past 10 years.   Easy. 

Christmas morning

* Trimming the tree – Just like holiday decorations, we have accumulated massive amounts of tree decorations.  We have ornaments from vacations, ornaments that the kids have carefully selected, as well as all the ornaments that all four kids have made through the years. We also have beads and ribbons and countless other things that must be on the tree.  Our tree is no longer big enough for all our ornaments!   I refuse to add another tree.

* Visiting the local nursery tree display – Every year we visit a local nursery that decorates hundred of trees and has an amazing model town set up.  The kids pick an ornament for the year that has meaning to them (hence all the tree ornaments we have!).

* Christmas lights – The outdoor lights belong to my husband and every year his display gets bigger.  My older son was joining him outside draping hundreds of lights through the trees in our yard, on the bushes, and on the front of the house. This year, since M is at college, N has been recruited -he is not a willing participant.   I admit it’s just lovely, especially since I am not involved.

* Gingerbread houses – I had the grand idea years ago we would make ours from scratch, so this has become the yearly tradition.  We mix cups and cups of flour and other ingredients, cut out paper models for the houses, roll out the dough, cut the pieces, and then bake and mix frosting.  This is literally a 3-day process.  For years each child made their own house- one year we had an entire village complete with outhouse.  Now we only do one or two large houses to which we attach as much Dollar Store candy as possible using sticky homemade frosting (trying not to eat too much of it!). 

* Christmas cookies – Baking is big in our house all year long and Christmas is no exception.  We pick at least 5 different cookies to make – all favorites and get to baking!  I then proceed to eat WAY too many cookies over the next month, this is part of the tradition as well.

* Advent calendars – You know those cheap chocolate calendars?  Well, we must have them every year.  I’ve gotten smart and purchased them as soon as I see them displayed because one year I couldn’t find any until mid-December which resulted in an attempted coup and lots of crappy chocolate eaten at one sitting when one was finally located.

  * Holiday cards - I am one of the remaining hundred or so people who still sends holiday cards.  Somehow it seems wrong not to.  I have winnowed my list down dramatically, but still order and send them every year.  One year I was so late they were more New Year’s cards, but it’s the thought that counts.

* Gift shopping – I shop year-round for Christmas and try to be done before the beginning of December.  I know, obnoxious right?  But there is something that makes me want to say bah humbug when I am stuck in line with loads of other people who are frantically grabbing gifts while holiday music is blaring.  I’d rather be home baking and eating cookies.  This does require lots of organization – there have been many times I’ve totally forgotten what I bought in January.  I have to remember where I hide my gifts!

* Holiday movies – My husband’s rule is only Christmas movies between Thanksgiving and Christmas.  If you were wondering, yes, there are enough Christmas movies to easily fill this time period, especially if you include cartoons.  Granted, we have seen them all multiple times.  But last night I was again laughing to National Lampoon’s Christmas – who can resist Uncle Eddie emptying “the crapper”.  And I do know all the words to the Snow Miser song from The Year Without Santa Claus, so there’s that.

* Visiting Christmas lights – My boys growing up always loved seeing the lights.  I can still picture M in the back seat saying “mo lights, mo lights”.  Every year we go into Baltimore to see Miracle on 36th street which is an amazing block of rowhouses that COVERS their houses in lights and plastic Santa’s, Mickey Mouse and other characters.  There is an artist on the street that makes snowmen out of old bikes tires- love them!  This is a favorite of mine too, always followed by dinner at the same place of course.

There are more traditions as well – rotating through family for additional celebrations, reading the huge amount of Christmas books we have amassed, visiting numerous train gardens, collecting a new nutcracker every year for the mantle, and reading A Night Before Christmas on Christmas Eve, even though sometimes this had to be done over the phone when my boys were with their dad.

I’m sure your family has a number of traditions that must be done every year to make the season complete.  These are really part of what make the season magical.

If you are new to this parenting thing though, consider this a cautionary tale.   

I highly recommend being kind to your future self and limiting the number of complicated traditions.  Trust me, you will thank yourself in 10 years.

Meanwhile I have to go finish designing my holiday card for this year and making lists of cookie ingredients.  But, I wouldn’t have it any other way and neither would my family…