1/23/2022

Thoughts on this last night of the hospital stay (yes, I should be sleeping).

~ Tomorrow I will be wheeled downstairs with a beautiful healthy happy baby in my arms. I am mindful of how lucky I am to be a mom. This whole childbirth thing IS actually a miracle. There are so are many paths to motherhood and each must have magic moments like this. Happiness and joy are understatements.

~ Throughout my entire pregnancy and especially this hospital stay, I was reminded that I have a job which offers me outstanding health insurance benefits. This allows me to focus on my baby and my recovery with a significantly less worry than many people. I am not “more deserving” and didn’t necessarily “work harder” than someone else in a different field of work without such benefits. There is a major privilege component to health care in America. Again, I feel grateful even though I work hard.

~ Nurses. Where do I even begin? These people are amazing! I understand nurses are “paid well” and it’s a job, but that doesn’t mean they don’t deserve credit for doing it exceptionally. When I was in the thick of it (all things pre, during, and post labor) amazing, kind, and compassionate nurses took care of me. Nurses wipe away tears, clean up messes, and hold stranger’s hands. In my case, a possee of badass NICU nurses rallied around me and cheered me on during some pretty scary vulnerable moments. I felt like I had a team of fairy godmothers over the past couple days. Thank you nurses for doing your job with such compassion for others. I will never hear the word nurse and not feel so truly grateful for how Will and I were treated.

~ I am now someone’s mommy!!! They will hand him over to me (after removing his baby lowjack and no, I am not kidding) and off we will go….at 15 mph. My #1 priority is to raise a good human to send out into the world. I don’t care one bit about his percentiles and scores. I just want him to feel our love and to grow up able to give love back to the world. If he can respect others, especially women, then we have succeeded. It’s quite a big job to do and I’m leaving here without a manual or emergency hotline number. I’m definitely feeling a little (ok, a lot) scared. But I also know in my heart that we got this and we’re going to be justttttt fine.

Let’s do this!

-Tasha