The Joy of Traveling with my Son

I had the wonderful opportunity recently to travel to South Dakota on a vacation with my 19-year-old son for a week. Just the two of us. It was an amazing experience.

A friend took her kids on trips for high school graduation and I loved the idea. My son was totally game for the trip. We had to delay a year because of covid, but finally got the trip scheduled for May 2022, a year after his graduation.

Matthew was given the choice as to where to go in the U.S., anywhere he wanted to go. And he picked South Dakota. I had a great time planning the trip knowing we both love the outdoors and that Matthew has been open for anything since he was little.

So, South Dakota. I admit to not knowing much about the area before this trip, but I always believe there is something to do everywhere you go and I was not wrong at all about South Dakota!

Traveling with my son

I was so excited about spending time one on one with Matthew since he has been away at school all year at Maryland. We are both fairly chill people so I knew we would get along and travel nicely together and thankfully I was correct.

One of my favorite parts of the trip was having the time to have meaningless conversations – there is nothing like an in-depth conversation about the pros and cons of different types of candy while hiking through the Badlands. We decided Spree was the official candy of our trip – sweet and doesn’t melt in the sun. We then discovered it is not popular in South Dakota. I need to remember to stock up!

At home we are all so busy. We do talk frequently and many of those talks are about personal things, but we don’t always have the time to talk about Marvel movies or places we want to travel or about memories of his childhood. Most of the sharing at home is about schedules or who needs new pants or shoes. When you travel together you learn that spending hours in the car with someone can be wonderful, so much time to talk about real things, but also the mundane things that make memories. Especially when there is no service. And I mean NO service.

Our trip

Bonus day in Dallas

The plan was to fly from BWI through Dallas into Rapid City, South Dakota. We had delays on the way out and spent an unexpected night and day in Dallas. We made the best of it and figured out how to take the train into Dallas. Just figuring out the airport was a feat and at one point we thought we found a “shortcut” and ended up in a parking garage making no progress at all. Lesson? Best to stick to the airport shuttle.

We hoofed it around and saw the sights in Dallas – Neither of us had ever been. We visited the JFK memorial and saw the “grassy knoll”, we ate gelato, saw a giant eye statute, visited the AT&T plaza and went to Pioneer Park to see the sculpture garden showing a cattle drive. We walked miles and miles and had an unexpectedly good time. Of course, we had our backpacks and carryon suitcase in tow that we frequently had to put in “sport” mode to move quickly (i.e., Matthew carried it by the handle). It was a good day.

Badlands

Matthew planned an 11-mile round trip hike for the day that wound its way through the park and prairie. We talked about everything under the sun (literally under the sun) during the 4+ hours we hiked – everything from candy to movies to politics to sore feet. I will always treasure this time I got to spend with my son.

If you haven’t been to the Badlands it is a place that’s difficult to get your brain around. It is such a foreign landscape, pictures don’t do it justice. An unexpected highlight was all of the prairie dogs – they were everywhere! And just so cute, you couldn’t help smile at them.

Matthew on the outskirts of the Badlands entering Buffalo National Grasslands

We drove through the open prairie to get to the next stop and had lots of laughs. At one point we got out of the car on the completely empty road and Matthew laid in the middle, right on the yellow line, to take photos. It was such an experience to be somewhere you could see for miles and miles and be almost alone with no buildings, trees or cars in sight. We also discovered that not all roads are paved in South Dakota - the paved road suddenly ended and we were on a dusty, red dirt, and gravelly road in our Hyundai Kona rental car. My palms were sweating! 40 miles of gravel road driving led to a small town that also only had dirt roads. This was a completely new experience for both of us.

Caves

Southwest South Dakota has Wind Cave National Park and Jewel Cave National Historic Site less than an hour from each other. I enjoy visiting caves, although my liking of caves lies somewhere between the super touristy ones (Luray caverns) and the ones where you crawl on your belly. Matthew is more adventurous than I am about many things and he wants to try belly spelunking – definitely not for me.

A surprise for both of us was all of the bison in the park. If you haven’t seen one in the wild, they are really amazing creatures. Lots of pictures were taken.

Matthew is a science person so the cave tours also involved some chemistry lessons for me. The tour guide would talk about a formation and I got the inside scoop on how it was made, including the chemical breakdown. I love listening to him talk about something he is so knowledgeable about and clearly enjoys. I may not remember the chemical break downs he described, but I will remember the enthusiasm he had telling me all about it.

Custer State Park and the Black Hills

We had no idea what to expect.

I planned the trip but didn’t look at many pictures of where we were going so we had lots of wonderful surprises, sometimes literally around the corner. The park has a Wildlife loop road which was well worth it. There was an entire herd of bison with babies around one turn, crossing the road and looking at the cars. We had baby bison walking in front of our car!

We were able to cross bison, antelope, long-horned sheep, mountain goats and yellow-bellied marmot of our list during our visit.

Then there was the hiking. Matthew planned a 9-mile loop hike with a few spurs. Part of the hike took us up to Black Elk peak which is the highest point in South Dakota and East of the Rockies. Some very brave people built a stone building at the top which provided a break from the huge wind gusts.

I have a fear of heights so this was a challenge to me. I try so hard to push myself but if you are afraid, you know as soon as your heart rate picks up and your breathing shallows you are done. I could not make myself go out on the peak-I really tried. Matthew does not share this fear and sometimes gives me gray hair with how close he gets to the edge – I made him promise not to further freak me out and to his credit he listened. I’m sure some of that had to do with the wind gusts that made him take his hat off and hold on to his glasses – so windy!

The view was 360 degrees and spectacular. I wish I could have savored it more.

Matthew and me during our hike

The Black Hills are known for the very unique rock formations with names like the Needles and the Cathedral Spires. Everywhere you looked the view was picture-worthy..
I’m pleased to say I kept up with Matthew through the entire hike and he only had to wait for me on rock scrambles – all my workouts have paid off!

We also made a quick stop at Mt. Rushmore to learn about how the sculptures were created. Did you know they were made with dynamite? Amazingly they were.

We had a 24-hour delay on the way home as well that we did our best to make the most of again (saw the Museum of Geology in Rapid City which I recommend if you ever find yourself there) and were totally exhausted when we finally got home a day late, but I wouldn’t trade in this trip for anything.

Sharing the joy of travel

For those who like to travel I know you’ll agree with me that much of the joy is the exploration of a new place. This feeling was even stronger being able to share it with my son.

We learned so much together about bison and the prairie, about the Minuteman Missile sites (another national park we visited) and about different types of caves and mountains. We had educated discussions about geology, minerals, and fossils. And we shared a lot of laughs.

I also learned a bunch of things…

Did you know that if your Dark Reese’s peanut butter cup thins melt that they fit right into the air conditioning vents and will harden right back up?

Or that you should not place the park entry ticket on the passenger window and then roll the window down? It magically disappears into the door. And definitely don’t do this within 10 minutes of paying for it either!

I also did not know that mountain goats will move quickly towards you so you need an exit strategy when you stumble upon one hiking.

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If you have the opportunity I highly recommend spending one on one time with each of your children, even if it’s just a day trip here and there. The interaction is so different from the day to day and it’s an excellent way to really get to know them as they get older. My younger son is already planning his trip.

I am thrilled that we created so many memories on this trip that will last much longer than any other gift I could have given him for high school graduation. The best part was him telling me had a great time and hoping that we could do it again for college graduation. He doesn’t have to ask twice.

Now only to decide where to go next…