Juggling stress: Trying to keep all the balls in the air is hard!

What happens when you have too many balls in the air? I’ll tell you, you start to struggle to keep them up and maybe some even fall to the ground.  That’s where I am right now.

I know we’ve all been there.

We’ve all taken on varying or new responsibilities and had them all come to fruition at the same time.  It can be overwhelming.  It makes it easy to forget things or make mistakes.  It can be frustrating and even a little embarrassing.  Plus, I hate feeling disorganized or forgetful.

My current situation

I have A LOT going on right now.  I am used to juggling lots of different things at any given time.  I enjoy being busy.  In fact, I generally thrive on the low level of stress that comes with a busy schedule.  I like a full calendar.  My issue right now is that the busyness I have is coming from different sources and I have a lot of new things starting.  I’m not in my groove yet.  And it’s showing.

I am still learning a new job after a huge career shift in February.  I have been teaching more yoga classes and agreed to start with private clients.  I also committed to being PTA President again at my son’s high school after a few year covid stint as “just” Secretary.  This is also in addition to my workout schedule, gardening, socializing with friends, keeping my house in order, JDRF volunteering, grocery shopping, blogging, teaching my son to drive and taking him places and trying to schedule family time. 

Phew, that’s a lot to keep in order!

Feeling overwhelmed manifests itself in different ways for different people.  For me, when it becomes this much, I start fumbling the balls I have in the air.  I have difficulty sleeping so I’m chronically tired and I start forgetting things and make silly mistakes.

Case in point, last week after I crammed in a Peloton workout after work, I decided at 6:15 pm to take our bikes in for a few easy repairs on a Thursday night while Tim was taking his turn on the Peloton.  I have been putting this off for weeks and it needed to get done before our weekend ride.  I figured I had some time and could get the bikes done, make dinner (note my crazy space/time continuum calculations - this is another issue for another day) and pick my son up at 8:30.  I quickly handled the bikes at the store and got them loaded in the back of the minivan and closed the door – proud of myself for being so efficient.  Can you guess what came next? 

Yes, I did not realize that all of the doors of my minivan would lock as my purse, keys AND phone were sitting on the center console.  I can tell you that my heart dropped when I tried the door.  Locked!  AHHHH!!  There was internal cursing.

In my defense, not only was I in a rush (it was 6:50), but the store owner was chatting away with me nonstop about bikes and races and everything else.  When I am not at the top of my game, I’m no good at filtering.  He was distracting to me and I wasn’t fully paying attention to what I was doing (although why on earth all the doors locked without me locking them I still don’t know).

My next thought gave me pause - I literally know no one’s actual phone number except my husband.  The bike store let me use their phone where I called my husband 5 times in a row and he didn’t answer (more internal cursing).  Then I literally stood there staring at the phone.  Who else could I call? I could only remember the last four digits of my son’s phone and none of my friend’s numbers.  So, I left the store and stood outside trying not to panic.  I had no phone, no car keys and nowhere close by to go. AHHHH!

I decided my only option was to jog/walk to my friend’s house who lives just under 2 miles away.  Thank goodness I opted out of the flip flops I had thrown on, wisely thinking they would make it hard to manage my bikes.  I wish I had worn my sneakers, but my keen sandals had to do as I hoofed it down the Owings Mills Boulevard sidewalk in the heat wishing someone I knew would drive by.  Did I mention this was one of the 90 degree humid days we had with full sun until 8 pm? No? Oh, of course it was. I realized if someone saw me, they would probably just think it was “crazy Amy” out for a run on a main road - curse my reputation as an exercise fanatic.

Long story short I made it to my friend’s house without melting or collapsing and her husband drove me home where we soon realized, yes, THAT BOTH KEYS WERE IN MY PURSE IN MY LOCKED CAR. This time there was external cursing.

Why would that be you ask?  Well, the car had just come back from the shop and I never took the second key out of my purse.  Too many things going on and so many lessons here.

Thank goodness for AAA.  My son and husband drove back to the store and met them and were home in 20 minutes.  Dinner was on the table by 8:15, I got in a whole bunch of extra steps and my son was picked up by 8:30 – I was exhausted.

Lessons here? 

*    Pay attention to what you are doing and don’t let random well-meaning men distract you with their nonstop chatter about things you really don’t know or care anything about.

        * Memorize phone numbers.  I’ve started actively practicing.

*      Do not place both sets of keys to car in your purse -this may seem obvious, but clearly I did this so it bears repeating.

*      Wear sensible shoes just like your mom always said.  You never know when you’ll have to walk an extra 2 miles or so to a friend’s house.

In the past week, I’ve also managed to lose a notebook where I wrote all my notes from a recent meeting.  And no, they were not backed up on a computer.

I forgot the laundry in the washer all day and overnight and it all stunk and had to be rewashed the next day.

And I neglected to purchase one of the main ingredients for a dinner I had planned because I forgot to add it to my grocery list.

I’m sure there are more things, but I’ve likely forgotten them too…

So, what’s my plan to get things back under control?

I’ve been here before with so much going on it can be overwhelming.  And I do have a plan.

1. My first step is always to try to take a step back and breathe.  Allowing panic or snowballing to take over never helps.   I work on calming the crazy, overwhelmed feeling in my brain.  You can’t think when you have “monkey brain”.

2. Next, I work on putting my head down and making a plan.  I love lists – grocery lists, things to do around the house lists, and other to-do lists.  I find it very satisfying to cross things off a list, even if the list keeps growing.  Sometimes though it’s even hard to get started with a list.  When that happens, I will start very generally.  Instead of specifying what I need to do for the PTA, I’ll just write “PTA” so I know to set aside time to make my plan and move forward.

The act of getting things down on paper usually helps me feel more in control and organized.  It may all be an illusion, but it’s an illusion that works for me.  My calendar helps too.  I keep multiple calendars -both paper and on my phone.  I review my calendar for the week multiple times so I make sure I have it all set in my head so nothing gets forgotten.  I check my calendar for the next day before I go to bed.  I even have a paper desk calendar at work.  I’m surrounded by calendars and to-do lists.  This helps me stay organized.

3. I also work very hard on sticking to my exercise routine and daily meditation as best I can.  I try to remain flexible and remind myself that 20 minutes sometimes is better than nothing.  I will schedule it on my calendar if I have to to make sure I do it.  For me exercise is the best stress reliver around.

As soon as I start crossing items off my list, I know I’ll feel more in control.   I know I need to work on my unreasonable space/time continuum, sometimes I don’t have the extra five minutes to throw in the laundry before I leave for the meeting.  But that’s a work in progress.

And until next time I crazily overbook myself, hopefully I’ll be able to keep all these different balls in the air.