When Things Don’t Go As Planned

I had a doozy of a morning this week.  It was not Monday, but it felt like it!

We have multiple cars at our house.  It often looks like a used car lot when everyone is home.  My husband and I each have a car, we have one for my college son that is currently at home, and we keep an old minivan for our family adventures.

Today my car was in the shop, my husband left for work, and Matthew wasn’t home with his car because of spring break.  This left the minivan.

Our minivan is 18 years old this year – she’s an old lady.  And frankly looks it, but she has served us well. 

We have spent lots of good times in the van – from camping trips to family road trips it has gotten us from point A to point B without issue many times.  We have used it to transport bikes and other gear to triathlons and adventure races.  It has been used as a changing room after said races just as often and has served as an excellent transition staging area for adventure racing. 

But like many older things, she has her issues.  The one I dealt with today is the finicky battery.  We have to be extra super careful that all the doors are closed and lights off.

I’m sure you know where this is going.

My younger son and I got all ready for school and work and at 7:15 on a chilly morning the van won’t start.

We all know that sound when you put the key in the ignition and the car does nothing.  Nothing at all.  Not even the little clicky noise.

Then the initial panic kicks in.  What do I do?

My mind pings all over the place.  My son has to get to school.  I have a meeting at work I can’t miss.  Why is my husband not home to help me out?

Then I shifted to who can I ask for help.

My son meanwhile literally just shrugs and says my teacher won’t care if I’m late.  And why don’t you just take an uber?  He didn’t panic at all. 

I admit it took me a minute.

I literally took a few deep breathes to stave off the panic and to pivot from what I had planned to making a new plan.  And, if I’m being honest, to prevent me from snapping at my relaxed son.  I got a ride for my son from a friend who was thankfully available, and I used Lyft for the very first time to get to work – the driver was a lovely man who chattered away about the importance of mental health and reducing stress during my ride to work.  Actually, quite perfect conversation for how my day was going.

Adulting can be really hard.   And some days I don’t want to be the one who has to make the new plans.  I want things to go smoothly and for someone to always be ready to help me.  But we all know this isn’t how the universe works.  We will constantly be thrown challenges and sometimes it is harder than others to figure out how to navigate them.

I’ve had this conversation with my oldest son several times and I know you can even buy the t-shirt.  And we all know it doesn’t make it to a t-shirt unless it’s true!

Life with all its bumpy challenges and changes can be difficult for anyone.  I think it is so important to try to figure out how to handle these bumps in a positive way.  Again, back to the slogans, but thinking of life as waves in the ocean is such an apt simile.  You can either let the waves knock you down over and over or you can learn to ride them.  We each will have a different technique for this and clearly some of us are more effective than others at riding and pivoting.

Covid forced so many of us to learn just how well we can adjust to what life throws us.  All the sudden we were working from home with our kids virtual learning in the next room.  It was a tough adjustment.  We tried to make the best of it in our house which was a conscious choice.  It wasn’t easy, and some days were particularly bad, but I do look back on that time with some fondness because of all the time I got to spend with my teenage boys that I would have missed out on.

Sometimes how we look at life’s challenges is all about perspective and trying to change the way you view these inevitable bumps and swerves.  We can work on taking the positive route or get stuck.

There is no doubt about it that adulting is hard.  Learning how to navigate it is a lifelong process that requires flexibility and the ability to calmly assess and replan.  We can all learn how to do this, and we all will be better for it, especially mental health-wise.

In the meantime, I’m going to make sure I properly close our vans doors and keep the Lyft app on my phone just in case!