The year without a holiday card

We didn’t do a holiday card this year.

              Gasp.

              There are a million little reasons. Being super pregnant and tired. Covid. Being busy with work. Being too cold outside for photos.  I supposed if I truly wanted to do a card, I would have made it a priority. What I find so interesting is that I keep thinking about it what not doing a card means. Will people notice? Do I need to apologize? What about the people who sent us a card, and are they expecting one in return? I've given it a lot of thought and the truth is, I just didn't feel like doing a holiday card this year. It felt kind of like a chore and so I put it off until it was too late.

              Gasp again.

              The funny thing is I was very into the Christmas spirit. I felt so much joy buying decorations and making our first Christmas season in the new house feel special. We got a real tree together. We laughed as we (my husband) fumbled our way through the lights. My stepdaughter Caroline would say "Alexa, play Christmas music" every night after dinner and we would all sing in the kitchen.  I even started wrapping in November. I watched It's a Wonderful Life for the first time ever.  I was and still am feeling all the Christmas magic….so why did it matter that I didn't do a card? It’s just a piece of (very nice) paper we keep for a few weeks and then toss, right? Or is there more to it? For me, I fully admit, a holiday card is a little bit like social media. I wanted the most-filtered picture, capturing the best, most adorable, carefree moments with all of us smiling. I wanted perfection. Basically, I felt like I would need to recreate a JCrew catalog. In the fall, I scoured Pinterest, looking for cute ways to incorporate my growing baby bump into the card and to get a head start on planning it. I made myself crazy, because nothing I saw felt like me or us. My husband and I don’t wear matching plaid sweaters. I don't even look good in red. The idea of holding hands in a meadow, dressed in coordinating plaid with all three dogs and Caroline in tow seemed actually like the opposite of fun. It seemed like pressure and a lot of work.  Mostly, it just didn't feel authentic. It felt obligatory. And these are the people I love more than anything in the world!   Last year, we had just gotten married and so we used the photo of all of us and it was easy peasy. I was really into it and sent out way too many. But at the same time, I did it because I felt like I was supposed to. A little voice inside my head told me, you're married now. You do a holiday card. It's just what you do. So we spent a few hundred dollars on printed cards and themed postage and off the cards went. Our big debut. This year, I wasn't any less joyful. In fact, I was and am the happiest I have ever been. I will be 9 months pregnant at Christmas and I have a very good life with a wonderful husband, a stepdaughter and the best crew of dogs. I literally count my blessings every day and I mean that. The world is so unpredictable and so crazy right now. I am grateful beyond measure for everything we have. So wouldn't I want to do a card and send it to 150 of our closest people and showcase how adorable my little family is? Ha.  Still, no. And so I didn't do one. In fact, I went old school and bought a box of cards (the theme was dogs inside of a sleigh if you must know) and filled them out for the few people who I really have something meaningful to say to. I used a pen and handwrote the messages. It was mostly just thank-you notes to colleagues who make my job easier all year long. And then I did a few to people I never see, but I wanted to send along a message to. I sat down at the table, filled out the 10-12 cards and THAT was what felt authentic. I didn't worry about the perfect photo or the theme or using the neutral "happy holidays" which I don't particularly like. I just wrote from my heart.

              The take-away lesson for me this year is that I can and will give myself permission to sometimes opt out of doing what I usually do or what I tell myself I should do.  And I will not judge myself too hard.  When you force yourself to do something, you take away the joy in it and then….well, what's the point? I'm not saying I am anti-holiday card. Just the opposite. Receiving them in the mailbox this time of year is awesome. I love seeing friends' kids and dogs dressed up. I love the little updates on each kid.  I display them and they make me happy when I see them hanging up. I am pretty sure next year given that my first and only baby will be almost 1, I will end up doing something fun for a card. Maybe I will rent a sleigh and a Santa-look alike for the setting. Maybe we will have fake snow. Ha!  Or maybe I will be so busy enjoying all the little moments, I won't have time to do a card with all 4 of us. And I've decided now that either way it's ok.  Maybe I will get cut from some people's lists for not reciprocating the card exchange, and that's ok too.  I promise not to judge if you nix me off your list.  We've all done it and hey, cards are expensive. By the way, how have we not all switched to Paperless Post or some other digital card? Maybe I can start that trend 😊  Remember how party invites used to be mailed or handed out at school? Now, every one I receive is electronic. I almost can't lose it. Almost.

              As I type this, my husband is upstairs hanging something in the nursery for me. All of the dogs are snoring on their own pillow. Caroline (11) is likely watching a Netflix Christmas movie in her pajamas in the next room. We are all in sweats or pajamas and just doing our own thing. Presents are wrapped (thanks to Caroline who enjoyed wrapping every single gift, including gift cards). Tree is lit. My husband is probably going to make his Bourbon egg nog drink soon and I am almost guaranteed to close my eyes as I lay on the couch, probably while still holding the remote. It's definitely not a picture-worthy scene for a 5 X 7 card. But it is also the perfect relaxing evening a few days before Christmas. It feels like Christmas to me, anyway.  And so that relaxing image is my card for all of you this year. It's environmentally friendly, simple and economical.

Happy Holidays and Happy New Year.