Being a lady lawyer
I was sworn in as a lawyer in 1997 which seems like eons ago (where did the 2000’s go btw??). I picked government work which already had many female attorneys, so I was one of several when I started my career in 1998. I admit to feeling like I had to be stronger and more firm than male attorneys. And at the ripe old age of 25, I still saw everything in black and white not realizing there were so many greys in between yet. I believed in being tough on crime. I had studied Criminology in college and we were still being taught the Broken Windows theory (curious? https://www.simplypsychology.org/broken-windows-theory.html. Not to ruin the plot, but these days most don’t ascribe to this thinking anymore).
I thought I had to be non-smiling and tough to be taken seriously. A male defense attorney circa 1999 called me and my fellow female attorneys “the pussy posse”. This was totally meant to be an insult, but we took this on as our group name and had “p posse” lunches and happy hours for years afterward. This group of women has gone on to become amazing, inspiring women and lawyers.
Have I been treated differently as a female attorney? Absolutely. Have I let it stop me in any way? Absolutely not. I notice some older, male attorneys can be very touchy with young, female attorneys and like to “get in your space”. They will call you “sweetheart” and “honey”, as they touch your arm or shoulder in court. I have never let it bother me, but admit to never really knowing how to handle it either. I may be a strong, female attorney, but personal conflict in a professional setting is still highly uncomfortable! As I’ve gotten older, some (even) older male attorneys still act like this, but now I keep the chair between us and certainly covid has helped (I don’t even have to shake hands anymore!).
Have male attorneys said inappropriate things to me? Again absolutely. I once had a male attorney comment on my legs as we were walking into chambers to talk to a judge. I’ve had others tell me I looked like a runner or that I obviously stayed in good shape. I’ve been asked out at inappropriate times and hit on in court. Frankly, as unprofessional as this behavior is, I have always just shut it down.
Do I think I’m treated the same in court as male attorneys? Most of the time. I have felt disrespected by male judges who have not remembered my name or called me “Miss”. I notice some judges giving deference to male attorneys in court. In these situations, I make sure to stand my ground and push to make them listen to me or at least do my best to be heard.
I’ve now been a lawyer for over 20 years and I know that I am much more relaxed in my role and no longer feel like I have anything to prove. I like to tell defense attorneys that they may not like what I say, but I will say it with a smile. I do not feel the need to be as adversarial as I did when I was younger. Maybe all of this is due to experience, but I think it’s getting older (and wiser) mixed with that experience that makes me a happier, more even-keeled attorney.