Letting Go: The Driver’s License
We had a big milestone in our house recently. My youngest son got his driver’s license.
This has opened up so much for him, but also makes this mama’s heart ache and worry. He’s done a great job learning to drive. He pays attention and follows the rules of the road. He doesn’t speed or drive aggressively. I have no doubt he’ll be a great driver, but all of this doesn’t make this milestone any easier.
It is another step away from home. It’s another step towards growing up.
When our kids are little, they need us for everything. We feed them and take care of them. As moms we are there when they skin their knees and when they need a hug. This of course, doesn’t go away as they get older, but it does change. And change is always hard.
I’ve been through this before with two step kids and my older son, you’d think I’d be used to it by now. But this time feels different. This is my youngest baby who is growing up.
I have taught all four kids to drive and each one was so different. My step kids were so nervous and very timid drivers, my oldest very confident. Nicholas has been in the middle. Slow and steady and getting it done.
(I wrote about teaching kids to drive in License to Drive if you are curious www.persimmonlife.com/on-being-a-momstep-mom-1/licensetodrive)
He took the drivers ed class, did all 60 plus hours behind the wheel and passed the test on the first try. He has earned his license and I’m so proud of him. But I also worry and a part of me is sad.
I have spent many years driving my kids to school and soccer practice, taking them to the movies and to friend’s houses, to work and to appointments. While I would be lying if I didn’t admit there were many times that I wished my kids could drive themselves, especially while sitting in the parking lot waiting for practice to end or for my son to finish work. But there is a certain satisfied feeling knowing that you are helping your child; that you are needed. It’s one of the many ways we moms support and show love to our children.
I also very much enjoyed our drives to school. We talked about so many things. It was a good time to catch up with each other and to make sure I knew what was going on in his life. He reported tests to me and issues with teachers and friends. The ride might have only been 14 minutes each way, but it was uninterrupted alone time with my son. Priceless.
It’s one of those things that you don’t realize you will miss. But I already do.
For my son it’s a tremendously exciting time. He has more freedom, and although he doesn’t have his own car yet, there is one available for him to drive when he needs it. We added Life360 to our phones and he texts when he gets to his destination. He has loved driving himself to and from school and to his dad’s house. He drove himself for the first-time last weekend to go out with friends and it felt so strange for me watching him drive away. He of course had a big smile on his face and I smiled right back as I waved good-bye.
A tough part for parents is watching our children get older and not needing us as much. I know I identify so much with being a mom and although I will still be a mom, my son doesn’t need me quite as much as he did before he got his license and that’s tough.
I also know of course that this is part of life, and I really am happy for my son. But it is also one more step towards letting go and moving towards an empty nest. This is the hard part.
So, for now I offer him a smile and a wave as he drives away and try really hard to not keep looking at Life360. I may or may not be very successful…
