Letting Go: Senior Year

School started on Monday and my youngest son began his senior year of high school.  Even typing that out I can’t believe this is where we are in life.

My son drove off in his own car to his first day of 12th grade.

The cliché that time flies is a cliché for a reason.  It really freakin’ flies when you are busy living your life.  And Ferris Bueller’s statement continues to ring true “Life moves pretty fast.  If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.”

We have been checking off the milestones at a seemingly faster rate lately.

Driver’s license – check

Driving himself all summer to his lifeguarding job and soccer practice – check

College applications started – check

Summer over – check

Senior year of high school started - check

Before I know it, he will be leaving for college, and I will be an empty nester.  The thought of an empty house after four children grew up here is hard.

I have several friends who are working through this right now and my heart goes out to them.  And of course, I know parents have been dealing with this for years and I will move through to the next part of life.  But knowing all of this though does not make it any easier on my mom heart!

We spend 18-odd years getting our children ready for this moment, but we don’t spend any time getting ready ourselves.  This parenting stuff can be so hard.

Senior year

Now my son is very different than when I was when I started my senior year of high school.  I was social and was looking forward to all the school events, from homecoming floats to prom.  I started talking to him about it and he was less than enthused about the parking space painting, school dances, and other events.  I couldn’t get him interested in the first day before school “senior sunrise”.  I definitely would have been there with my friends, albeit without cell phones for selfies.  I just remember wanting to do everything.

Now some of this might be the difference between teen boys and girls and since I don’t have girls I don’t really know, but I admit to wishing he was a little more excited.   Maybe it’s also a difference between high school in the 80’s versus now.  I missed even the opportunity for much of this with my older son because of covid, so this is my first real senior year with a child.  Personally, I don’t want to miss any of it!

I grew up in a pretty small town in northern New Jersey and had a whopping 540 kids in my entire public high school.  My senior class had about 125 kids, most of whom I’d known since 4th grade when I moved to Mahwah.  School spirit was actually a big thing in the 1980’s and I remember going to football games and cheering on our team.  We decorated floats for homecoming and each class had a Homecoming king and queen who got to ride in the float on the track.  Each class had a color and we’d come up with a theme and spend hours making hundreds of tissue paper flowers to decorate the float to fit our theme.  Good times.

Homecoming float from Mahwah High School 1989.

Picture from yearbook. And yes, I am in this picture!

Our homecoming dance included dresses, boutonnieres, and dates and prom was an even bigger deal.  I’m not sure when all this changed, but I guess 30+ years is a long time ago.

My son’s school doesn’t have floats decorated with hundreds of tissue flowers, but they do have a parade for homecoming where the sports teams and some clubs walk down the street.  Definitely not as fun (or creative!).  And I know he will go to homecoming and prom with his friends as a group.  And there is the yearly powder puff football game to watch. I just know I am much more excited to watch him experience all of these things than he is to actually do any of them right now.

And I also know that this year will go much faster than I want it to and that before I know it, I will be crying at graduation in spring wondering where the time went with the rest of the parents.

So, in the meantime I’m going to try to soak in everything I can (and that he’ll let me) of my son’s senior year of high school.  Because before I know it, I will be buying the ubiquitous grey or navy comforter and sheet sets, as well as the flag to decorate his dorm room. 

Time continues to flow quickly, and I don’t want to look back and feel like I missed it.  And senior year goes by at light speed.  So even though they won’t be making any tissue paper flowers, I want to do my best to enjoy the time I have left with my son at home.

 And maybe, just maybe, get him to be a little excited about his senior year too.