We Don’t Play Club Sports in our House

I believe this is likely going to be an unpopular opinion as I have seen the crazy popularity in our community for club sports, but I’m going to share it anyway.

We don’t do club sports in our house.

Now this decision is based on a variety of things.  I know many will disagree with me as I see constant postings on FB about weekend-long tournaments and away weekends that require plane tickets and hotels.  Clearly that was a choice that each family made, but it was never our choice.  And I have never regretted our decision.  And I don’t believe my kids missed out either.

This choice also was not made due to a lack of talent in my kids, in fact my youngest did play club soccer for a few years when he was younger.  So, this was also not an uneducated decision.

I remember sitting on the bench watching my youngest son play club soccer when he was only 8 years old and listening to the other moms talk about how this was going to be their ticket into private school and then college.  This was not at all why my son was playing for the team.  I felt so out of place with these moms and this mentality.  I wanted my son to play because he loved the game.

He loved it but it turned out not enough to love the year-round practice and the long drives to the games and tournaments and neither did the rest of my family.  I hated disappearing for an entire day or weekend and missing out on doing things with our whole family.  I hated dragging my other son to the games if he didn’t want to go so that we could spend time together.

So, we quit club sports as a family and never looked back.

Here’s why we said no in our house – maybe this resonates with you, maybe not:

1.       Club sports impact the whole family

There are likely people who read this and say, “we love spending all of our weekend’s together on the soccer field as a family”.  But we made the decision a long time ago that we did not and that this was not how we wanted to spend our precious free time.

There were 6 people in our house most weekends and we decided it was not fair for one person’s interests to impact the rest of the family’s time.  This did not mean we didn’t spend countless hours on soccer fields or at lacrosse tournaments, we did that watching all 4 kids play a variety of school and rec sports.  It just meant we did not commit the whole family to weekends of tournaments and travel the whole year. 

We chose to spend our weekends and our vacations doing things all of us wanted to do together.

2.       Club sports are massively expensive

Not just are the fees expensive, but when you add in the uniforms and the travel and all the other costs it can be hugely expensive.  And you have to pay every year.  I was shocked the first time I heard how much these clubs’ cost and I know the charges have just gone up, as have the travel obligations, the encouraged additional coaching, and all the other expenses.

Nope. We chose to spend our money on family vacations that included everyone.  As well as saving the money for college.

3.       Club sports have ruined rec leagues

This is a big one.  Don’t even get my husband started on this.  He coached rec lacrosse for years in two different counties and greatly enjoyed teaching kids the sport he grew up loving.  He was so passionate about teaching and making sure everyone had the opportunity to learn regardless of their background.

The saddest thing to see is that in our area, and I understand in many other areas, the rec leagues have fallen apart because so many kids are being pulled into club sports.  It feels like parents have been convinced this is the only way for their kids to be successful in the sport and maybe even in life. These clubs now have multiple levels in an effort to fit anyone in - some even have A, B, and C divisions.  This leaves many kids with nowhere to play.  And the ones who are most affected are the ones who can’t afford the club teams. 

I’ve mentioned this to people before and get very strong pushback that there are scholarships and other support for these kids.  But realistically if you can’t pay for the club team it will be very difficult for your child to find transportation or to continue to buy the equipment and participate. 

It’s a shame.  My husband gets very passionate about losing rec sports; like I said don’t get him started.

I’ve heard some parents argue that club sports will get their kids scholarships for college and maybe that’s true for some kids.  But if you look, the actual statistics are pretty low.  Plus, that was never our goal.  If my kids wanted to play in college I would support them, but that was never a priority.  My oldest plays intramural soccer at his school and loves how low pressure it is and that he can just show up and play the sport he loves around his heavy class schedule.

There are many decisions we make as parents for our children and our families based on all sorts of considerations.  Participation in sports is just one of those decisions.  I know many families find the time spent with their kids participating in club sports fulfilling and time well spent, but this choice wasn’t for us.

My feeling has always been that time with our children is precious and short, which I’m reminded of more and more as they leave one by one for college or work.  Our weekends spent hiking, exploring, playing games, and just spending time together will stay with all of us and bring fond memories for life.  This was our choice and one I have not regretted one bit.